A Saving Grace
by TiA aRiEl
Summary: The most painful part of her visions were always his eyes. Those warm, expressive brown eyes were so full of life, and then, suddenly, dead. one-shot


**A Saving Grace**

"_I shouldn't have saved you, jerk!"_

And yet, how many times had she saved him now? Hitomi knew without a doubt that she would continue to save him, no matter what happened. As she looked up at Escaflowne, her heart clenched.

"Van…" she whispered to herself, wondering how long he would continue to put himself in danger. She didn't want to see any more visions, but as long as Van fought, she would never have peace. She turned from the giant machine, tears stinging her eyes. He would never stop, would he? She would have to endure this for the rest of her time in Gaea.

The most painful part of her visions were always his eyes. Those warm, expressive brown eyes were so full of life, and then, suddenly, dead. She covered her ears, as if it would help, and slid to the floor, where she drew her knees up to her chest. Oh, Van, why can't you see what this is doing to me? Why can't you just stop, and leave the war to everyone else?

She knew the very thought was selfish, but she couldn't bring herself to care. All she wanted was Van's safety!

Without thought to how her "betrothed" would feel, Hitomi simply curled up beside Escaflowne and cried herself to sleep.

* * *

When everyone returned from their duties that day, no one could find Hitomi. Van, in fact, had gone straight up to her room to announce his and Allen's arrival, only to find her missing. In true Van fashion, he had reacted immediately and harshly. Without warning anyone else, he simply ran out to the barn for Escaflowne, thinking she'd been kidnapped once again.

To his surprise, there she was. He had seen people with wings since he was born, even had his very own pair—but Hitomi, with still-wet tears tracked down her cheeks, to him looked like an angel. He carefully lowered himself onto his haunches beside her, and reached out to brush a strand of hair away from her face. Hitomi's eyes flew open the second his fingers grazed her skin, and she shot up and into his arms.

"Van!" accustomed to outbursts like this from Merle, he was always prepared, but he was so surprised that she was able to knock him over. This did not faze her; she only clutched his shirt and buried her face in his tunic. "Van, Van, I was so worried…" she whimpered against him. He brought a hand up, haltingly, and began to gently stroke her hair. He could feel her tears through the material that separated them, which only served to make him pull her closer.

"What's wrong, Hitomi?" he questioned, pushing her away slightly so he could look her in the eye. Hitomi drew herself up onto her knees, still trembling gently from her emotions. His eyes—she never wanted to see them dull and lifeless like she had before. Thinking this, fresh tears worked their way down her flushed cheeks.

"I don't want to see any more," she told him, hushed, her voice weak. "When I see you in my visions, you are always dead. Dead, dead…" she whimpered, pressing her palms to her temples. Van lifted up in alarm, clutching her shoulders. She shuddered against his touch, her fingers falling away and reaching over to him to cup his face. "I don't ever want to see your eyes lifeless again, Van. Not you." said eyes widened at the contact, so personal and touching that he almost felt like crying, too.

"Hitomi…" he whispered, and yet he smiled. He didn't smile very often, at least not without bitterness, so to Hitomi it was like being bestowed a gift. His hands drifted from her shoulders and twined into her hair, pulling her closer until their foreheads touched. Her eyes fluttered shut, and a sigh escaped her slightly parted lips.

"Promise me," Hitomi began, "promise that you won't die." And against his better judgement, Van said;

"I promise, Hitomi."

A moment like this…it was almost too perfect.

* * *

**A/N:** This is my first time dipping my nib into the ink of Escaflowne, but I am in the mood and have been watching it, inflicting some sort of self-punishment by watching the sad endings. I have never come to grasps with the ending (of both the movie and series) not because there was no kiss as most people complain, but because of the seperation itself. In the movie, it is justified, since she didn't really choose--however, in the series she liked it better in Gaea and simply left. Left Van! I mean, really, who would leave him? True that they had a mature relationship that didn't require physical contact, but why would you rather that than being able to be near each other? Anyway, I choose to believe that when she matured a little more, got older and got over friends and was old enough to leave home that she somehow got back to Gaea to be with Van. That is my friggen happy ending! Damned open-ended animes... Heh, sorry for the long A/N, drop a note, critique, review, worship, whatever you feel you need to do! Ja!


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